Why My Wife Should Run My School

by Guy E. White on 24 November, 2014

Three reasons why my bride should be in charge.

No, I’m not saying my wife should be principal. She should be some kind of monarch advisor of some kind, elevating the state of my school to new heights. Frankly, I think you should hire her too. Here’s why.

I love my wife for many, many reasons. Some worth mentioning (in no particular order): First, she’s a doctoral level clinical psychologist. I’ll call her Dr. Wife from now on. Second, she’s one of the most patient listeners I’ve ever met – drawing out the best for everyone in the conversation. She’s great at drawing out the best of my heart and mind without sacrificing her chance to do the same. All around, I’m smitten.

We’ve been married for nearly eight years.

Here are some lessons that Dr. Wife has taught me that should be adopted by my school and yours.

1. Having Real Community Means Doing Life Together

I’ve seen friendships come and go. The ones that stick are those connected to a unifying cause – something beyond the place, convenience, job, etc. Dr. Wife calls friendships centered around that common cause, “Community.”


The common cause does not have to be something insanely epic, like fighting Ebola or curing the ills of the world. Instead, Community can be centered around becoming our best selves together, doing life together.

There have been times in the past where I have felt like my fellow educators and I are passing ships in the night. The parking lot filled up, we all worked our best in our individual classrooms for a number of hours, and we all went home. Having Community means creating some common ground and playing on it together.

What’s the common ground you share with others around you at your school?

2. Balance is a Blessing

Truth be told, I’m in NO WAY a balanced person. Personally, I think the whole idea of balance is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom. So little in life is balanced in nature. Look at my desk at the end of the grading period and you will not see balance, you’ll see a tidal wave.

Dr. Wife has pointed me toward figuring out the patterns of flow of tasks, commitments, and challenges. Tempering those patterns a bit, being mindful of them, and working with them (rather than against them) is what she calls balance.

What are the patterns that tend to drain you of your energy around your school?

3.  Mind the Seasons

As a matter of preference, I typically live my life day to day. I don’t pull the storm clouds in from yesterday to predict today’s weather. Instead, each day is fresh, open, and spacious. However, I’ve learned that this logic can get me into serious trouble if I am not mindful of what’s going on around me.

Everyone around you at your school is going through something. They are living their lives, separately and together. What season are they in? Are they in the energy and possibility of Spring? Are they in the open and introspective season of Summer? Are they preparing and storing up as if it were Fall? Are they experiencing a Winter of the soul? Knowing where others are in their world is quite important.

Similarly, it’s important to know what season you are in your world.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the lessons I’ve learned from my bride. What do you think? What are some lessons you live by around your school?

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